Friday, 19 November 2010

In Which We Discover That Something is Not Quite Right

I'm one of those people who keep everyone out.  Eventually.  My hubby, walled out.  Kids, out.  Parents, friends, out.  I'm not Mrs. Normalsauce.  I'm different.  I'm subjects-you-dont-talk-about-at-dinner different.  And I don't trust people to understand.  Or, when I do, it doesn't go so well.

I want to be cherished, and desired.  I want to be loved and accepted.   I want to be respected.  I want my desires to be acknowledged.  I want to be comfortable in my own skin, and at least in my own home.  I'm lonely.  I'm sad.  I'm hurting.  Half my life, my self is missing, missing, missing.